Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Unexpected turns

Life often takes unexpected turns... case in point.. i was expecting to finish out the year substitute teaching and then go back to the special needs camp again this summer.. But, that all changed when I was offered a part-time job involving finding resources for people who need them. And I accepted, of course. I would be a fool not to take it, after all, its a regular 20 hour week job. It's just that i was attached to the special needs camp to a degree where i actually went through with withdrawal, and it took time to come to terms with the fact that i probably won't return to work there THIS summmer..there is always the hope of next summer. Another unexpected turn is that this job involves driving out of town, as far as an hour away on a semi-regular basis. Oh boy. Well, if i ever want to become independent in driving long distances (which I do) now is the time. Oh, for those of you who don't know, I do well enough driving independently around town and for relatively short distances (read: hour or less), but when it comes to driving say, 4 hours, ive never driven that far by myself. So, now is the time where i drive an hour and a half west of here and an hour south on a regular basis.

Also, ive thought a lot about where my life is leading. What will i do with my life after ive reached the goals ive set out for myself( pay off college debt). Will i obtain my goal of marriage? Of rasining a family? Of total independence, moving out of my parent's house? Of working as an occupational therapist? To be perfectly and utterly bluntly honest, I don't know. But what i do know is i will never give up striving to improve myself, even if the days seem like there are days where i feel so lazy i dont feel like doing the tasks i neeed to do.

As a cradle Catholic, i have a strong faith in God and i know He has a plan for me. It is that assurance alone that has brought me this far. I don't know if i would have made int through college without His help. Praying to him through the intercession of St Jude, patron saint of impossible causes seemed to help mounds. I found a focus i didnt have before. So, There is strength that i can have to overcome daily struggles.

To anyone who is reading this who may have a child with a disability, be it developmental or otherwise, autism or cp, etc, know this: You are not alone in your fight, and you do not bear your burdens alone. There are people who live the same struggles as you do. Keep up the good fight, fight for your child to the death, and NEVER give up hope, do not lose heart. For those of you who have a child recently diagnosed, i say this: take the doctor's words WITH A GRAIN OF SALT. Often times, doctors and other "experts" take a very pessimistic view of your child's quality of life. My mother was given the same bleak prognosis by either doctors or teachers or psychologists, i couldn't remember. My mom decided to ignore that bleak prognosis, and never discouraged me from following my aspirations and dreams. Look at the result: a 28 year old man, graduated from college, with a Bachelor's and an Associate degree, studied abroad in China, gainfully employed (part time, but still gainfully), driving independently, and working to pay off his loans in hopes of becoming an occupational therapist someday in order to help others with the same situation. I could have been like so many others i have rad about who are higher functioning who don't finish college. I could have thought, i can't go any farther, i might as well stop here. And those of you who have read my previous blog posts know that there were times that i didn't know if id make it through college. But, NO. I am a fighter. I see what i want in life and pray for God's grace and perseverance, and try my darnedest to LIVE LIFE TO THE FULL. It isn't always easy, but when is life ever easy?